The “Detour” Is The Path
Have you ever told yourself you should be further down the path by now?
I certainly have!
I remember sitting on the beach many years ago, having a lovely day on vacation and a group text thread started to blow up. Congratulations began pouring in and I saw that my friend had just gotten engaged! And all of a sudden a strange thing happened. My stomach dropped and I felt a rush of emotions. Instead of feeling happy for them, I actually felt devastated for myself.
It was a confusing feeling that was way too familiar to me.
I came around to the joy and celebration for them later, but the fact that my first reaction was that heartache and dropped feeling, simply highlighted the fact that I wasn’t where I wanted to be on MY OWN PATH.
Have you ever felt this way?
Maybe you’ve:
Been frustrated watching classmates post about yet another promotion on LinkedIn.
Been passed up for a role, over a colleague who had less credentials and seemingly less experience.
Felt jealous of people sharing that things have always just worked out, when your path has felt overly bumpy.
Wished you were the one getting married and not buying another bridesmaid dress.
When the bumps, twists and detours happen, it can feel soul crushing, mainly because you’ve been telling yourself your path should look different. Maybe you’ve been highly comparing your path to someone else’s (like I did) or just wishing that your path looked and felt more like you wanted it to.
I know this might be hard to hear, but your path was always supposed to be messy with all the bumps, twists and detours. And even if it doesn’t feel great in moments, it’s supposed to have both the highs and the lows.
Your path is supposed to be messy, because life is messy!
It’s easy to fall into comparison because it actually lets you off the hook and it makes life way more simple and easier than it actually is. It gives you just the snapshot of what someone's celebration moment looked like, without showing you any of the pieces that went into it.
If you find yourself resonating with this and wishing you were further down your own path, here’s a few ways to move through it all:
Shift the Arrival Fallacy:
If you’ve ever thought, “when I get this, then I’ll feel _______.” Fill in whatever feeling it is for you. This is a very typical trap! Today, how can you let yourself feel the joy, the ease, the happiness now, even if you don’t have that physical thing in your life yet?Reframe the Comparison:
Instead of taking comparison as negative, let it simply show you what you really DO want in your life! So if you’re often comparing your career to your friend’s, acknowledge it and start taking small actionable steps that are true to you, towards getting clear on what your dream career looks and feels like.Claim What You Really Want:
Sometimes people don’t want to say what they really want because they think it’ll be too hard or take too long to create. But when you get crystal clear on what you want, it can actually happen much faster than you’d ever imagine. Plus the process of discovering what you want can be really fun and enjoyable!
I hope that you take this as a sign to embrace the "detours" today. If you feel that someone in your world could hear this message today, please share and forward it to them.
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With ♡ and gratitude,
Jennifer