My Story…the unabridged version

It all started when I let out a big cry on May 25th sometime in the 80’s. Okay, we won’t go back that far. Fast-forward a bit to after grad school when I moved to NYC… I landed a creative job in advertising and was on my way to becoming the oh-so-sophisticated, independent, successful city girl I always thought I wanted to be. I saw her in magazines, on TV, and had this grand idea of who she was. She was fabulous, no question about that, navigating her life in the Big City like a charm––juggling her career, love life, friends, family—and doing it all with grace. So I climbed the corporate ladder, up up and away, worked with big brands, created multi-million dollar campaigns, and got to be creative every single day. In most people's eyes, I had the perfect "dream job". I was flying all over the country, crafting up the next big idea, and orchestrating photo and video shoots. I was trying to achieve the successful life I thought would fill my heart and bring me happiness. In the hustle and bustle of it all, I couldn’t have been farther from what I truly desired. I was desperate for something but I didn’t even know what it was. One evening in my weekly workout class, I approached two ladies who were smiling ear to ear and fully lit up! I cautiously said to them, “You both seem pretty and happy, what do you do?” They shared about mindfulness practices and a women’s group they attended and invited me to join, from that point on I was hooked. 

I became immersed in meditation and spirituality, going to every lecture I could find, workshops at night, and retreats on the weekends. My own self-growth became my unpaid side-hustle. I was seeking the solace and reprieve from my overworked life and for a moment in those spaces, I felt a calm I’d never experienced before. My heart whispers shared with me the desire for real authentic safety and love within myself, a purpose driven career partnering with people to feel alignment and passion for their lives and a beautiful romantic soul level partnership to ride through this world with. In meditations, I heard the push to leave my “comfortable career” and follow my deep callings. I wasn’t ready or willing to take action, so I ignored them instead. After all, I had my advertising career to run and an image I was chasing. Not wanting to be dismissed as “one of those woo-woo people”, I created silos for the different parts of me and hid my spiritual life from my work life. I was terrified to be torn away from my career safety and the identity I was set on contriving. So I tucked away my spiritual side in my journals while continuing the race for success.

After several years of feeling unfulfilled in my job, not to mention the multitude of moments of hiding and crying in conference rooms, the whispers got even louder. I went from being overworked to being physically sick. I was diagnosed with a stress-induced condition that doctors said usually shows up in people 30 years my senior. And I experienced my very first panic attack in a yoga class of all places—oh the hypocrisy. As the yoga teacher was comforting me, I said to her, “I really need a new life.” I had put work first for my entire career, and let me tell you, it took a toll. From the outside, I had looked like I achieved what I wanted––I was “successful” and had a closet full of beautiful things and was out to dinner every night with friends and dates––but there were huge pieces missing from my life pie.

Finally, I started listening. I left advertising after 15 years and my life completely changed. I got curious about my authentic desires, released my old model of working, and chose to recharge and root into new possibilities. I have felt empowered with all the shifts in my life. To name a few of those shifts: I created the opportunity to live by the beach for several months and say hello to the ocean every day. I have overcome years of consistent health issues and yo yo diets with a complete shift my food choices, including quitting sugar and feel more energetic and empowered in my overall health. I've been re-inspired with cooking and my kitchen has become another type of art studio. I'm in the most loving, generous, devoted romantic relationship I've ever allowed into my life. And I've learned to honor my own rhythms and cycles and have been syncing up to nature's cycles! What’s changed the most is that I’ve made space to appreciate and enjoy the amazing life I’ve created! I am grateful today to say that I’m living more aligned than I’ve ever felt before—and as you’re here reading this, you know I am a Life and Professional Coach! I’m continuing to choose this new way of being and yup... very much still listening.